Edwin then got up to close the ceremony. Several members of staff moved forward and lifted the covered table that Danny Tripps body lay on, revealing a grave, wide and deep and lined with stones and flowers behind it. A ramp had been dug out leading down to it from the north side.
Moving carefully, they wrapped his body in the white cloth that draped the table, and then lifted his body on their shoulders to the head of the ramp, and as everyone gathered around, they laid him to rest on the flowers, then began to gently place stones and more flowers over the corpse until he was completely covered.
Edwin thanked them for coming and bade them return to the main house for refreshments, then added that he would invite them to do as Kyle suggested and share their memories, good and bad, of the man Danny Tripps had been.
The staff were the first to drift away, with nearly all of them working, and many of the guests followed. Katie and Kara got up, but Kyle remained in his seat, wanting to stay and witness the burial, but his sisters reminded him they had lots of guests and that he couldn't stay there all day.
On the walk back up to the house Kyle got many compliments on his speech, of the courage it took to get up there, and of how it reminded them of Danny Tripps himself in the way it was delivered. The last part came as a surprise to Kyle.
The next half hour of mingling back at the house was a repeat of the same conversation. Really great speech, emotional, reminded me of him, but it passed quickly and it was time to walk many of the guests back to the boat or the helicopters that were waiting to take them back to the world.
By the time they bade them farewell and got back to the house, Kyle was feeling pretty drained and excused himself for a few minutes. He got into his suite, hung up his jacket and sat quietly on the balcony for a minute having a cigarette.
Patricia appeared a few minutes later, looking for him.
"You okay?" He asked. He hadn't had a chance to talk to her since before the ceremony as they'd been moving from guest to guest, shaking hands, making small talk and then dealing with those who were leaving.
"You did good, Kyle," She said, leaning over the chair from behind him and giving him a hug and another peck on the cheek.
"Just clicked what I wanted to say this morning. The core of it's what you wrote though."
She swatted his head. "You changed everything, so don't go trying to credit me for your own work."
Kyle chuckled. "So who's still here?"
"Not many people actually," She said, frowning. "Sting and Neil Finn are still here. They're already talking about doing a few tunes later. Johnny Depp is staying overnight, as are Charlize Theron and Christy Turlington, but everyone else has left or will be in the next couple of hours. There's a ton of phone calls to return too."
"I never got the chance to talk to Mike Myers. I was going to ask him for tips on being cool too," He said, getting a laugh from Patricia.
"You're doing fine, Kyle."
"Who's the phone calls from?"
"Oh, there's a list. Lots of friends and acquaintances of Mister Tripps, the usual politicians taking the opportunity to secure campaign donations, media fishing for interviews, stuff like that. Lakshmi's culling the list of calls you can return in the next couple of days."
"Do you guys ever stop working?" Kyle asked.
Patricia rolled her eyes. "Are we going to have that conversation again already?"
"No, I guess not," He replied, stubbing out his cigarette. He stood up and turned to face her. "How do I look then?"
"Tall, dark, handsome." She smirked a little and tilted her head. "You should get Katie to photograph you today. You look good."
He frowned. "Don't know if I like the idea of being photographed. Even if it's Katie doing it."
"Get a few drinks in you. You'll be fine."
"I thought I wasn't supposed to be drinking, what with all the training."
Patricia shrugged. "It's a special occasion."
Kyle nodded towards the stairs, indicating that they should return to the party but she stopped him and wiped at the lipstick on his cheek. The close proximity of her as she stood before him, her head tilted up and her lips parted, her hand on his face. It was one of those moments where things happen or they don't, but before Kyle could kiss her she stepped back.
"Yeah, that was a moment," Kyle muttered, getting a grin from Patricia as she led him back down to the party.
By midnight, Kyle was yawning and apologising for it. It had been a fantastic evening.
Neil Finn and Sting played together with their musicians for nearly two hours, putting on an impromptu concert that Kyle felt priviliged to hear. Katie had pressed Johnny Depp to teach her the Captain Jack swagger, and had fallen over twice attempting it, but Kara nailed it first time. Connor Grant had drunk Mister Crowler under the table, then disappeared with Christy Turlington a couple of hours ago and hadn't come back. Katie had been bobbing around with her camera for hours, and was desperate to leave to get the shots on the computer and edit them, but there was always something else to photograph.
Kyle had enjoyed long conversations with everyone, not just stories of Danny Tripps, but lots of general conversation too. He'd had a long chat with Lakshmi and Peter, getting to know them a little. Lakshmi was slow in opening up, but had a very sharp sense of humour, and Peter was the typical geek, right down to the glasses, with the exception that he looked like a male model, something which he seemed blissfully unaware of. He also told Kyle about the gaming network they had on the Island and challenged him to a game of Call of Duty tomorrow night. Lakshmi assured Kyle, who considered himself to be pretty good that he'd get thrashed and that Peter was a freak when it came to gaming.
In a conversation with Charlize Theron about LA, she'd put her hand on Kyle's leg and told him she'd be happy to show him the sights when he came to town. He didn't know if she was just being friendly or if he was being propositioned, but when Patricia nearly choked on her drink he figured it out.
Kara was a concern though. She'd remained a little withdrawn throughout the whole evening. Kyle and Katie had both tried to draw her into engaging a little more with people, but failed, until Johnny Depp slumped down on a seat next to her and talked to her for three hours straight about anything and everything.
Seeing everyone had relaxed, Kyle had ordered up a round of cocktails for Patricia, Heidi, Garius, Peter and Lakshmi, and they'd all sat themself down at a table. He'd kept an eye on them as the evening had gone on and kept sending drinks over for them, making sure they had a good time as they deserved a night off.
However, as midnight came and went, the guests started to drift off to bed. Eventually Kyle saw his opportunity and bid them all a goodnight too and headed upstairs, dropping into his seat on the balcony for a smoke.
He smiled as Kara appeared.
"I thought I was never gonna get rid of him," She said wearily as she sat down and reached for his cigarettes.
"Captain Jack?" Kyle asked, surprised.
"Yeah." She lit up.
"You mean to say you were trying to escape from the guy who's a figure of fantasy to millions of women around the world?" He grinned. "How fucking mad is this?"
Kara smiled. "I know. Who knew sexy actors could be boring? How awesome was the music tonight?"
"I wish I'd recorded it," Kyle said immediately. Between Sting, Neil Finn and their musicians, they had done impromptu covers of everything from Frank Sinatra to Nirvana, their own music, and Sting's version of Rihanna's S&M blended seamlessly into Roxanne was something he would never forget, mostly because the singer could barely stop laughing while he sung it.
"Hey, have you see Katie's pictures?" Kara asked quickly, kicking her black heels off and putting her feet up on the table.
Kyle shook his head. "I haven't, but she's barely had that camera out of her hands for six hours now. Any good?"
"She showed me a few on the back of her camera. That girls talented. I bet she's up all night editing them."
Kyle smiled. "Good to see someone with passion for what they do, isn't it?"
Kara nodded. "Definitely. She even took a picture of me that I liked. The ones of you are superb. So, what's the story with you and Patricia then?"
"What story?"
"This morning you were all angst and angry. Today she's hanging all over you again."
"We're just.... close." He shrugged. "I don't know."
"Have you two...." She winked with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, drawing a laugh from Kyle.
"No, haven't even kissed," He admitted.
"You bicker like an old married couple," She said a moment later. "It's kind of freaky to watch, considering you've only known her what? Three or four days?"
"Yeah, something like that. How are you getting along with Garius?"
"Well, he's a lot of fun, lots of sharp one-liners and he's helping me with the briefings, translating what it all means into words I can understand. He really does think he's Gods gift to men though." She smiled. "I still don't know if I can trust him, but I like him as a person."
"He seems like a nice guy," Kyle agreed.
He paused as he heard a whistle and Kara frowned, looking over the balcony. "I think someone's trying to get your attention, Kyle."
He stood up and looked down at the pool area, where Heidi was trying to stop a drunken Patricia from going for a swim.
"She's totally wasted," Kara muttered, shaking her head.
"Fucking hell," Kyle said, laughing as his assistant nearly fell over.
Heidi waved again for Kyle to come and give her a hand, and he nodded.
"Better go help her," He said, stubbing out his cigarette.
"Have fun."
Kyle nipped down the stairs then out to the pool where Heidi now had a hold of one of Patricia's arms and was trying to hold her back, telling her, "It's not a good idea to go swimming when you're drunk, and never when you're wearing Prada, Patricia."
"Hey, Patricia," Kyle said, stepping in front of her to divert her attention.
"Wooo!" She said, rolling her head as she tried to stand up straight. "There he is."
"You're hammered," He said, grinning.
She lifted one arm as if to salute him, but smacked herself in the head and staggered to the side. "Bosseses orders."
Her voice was slurred and Kyle looked at Heidi, trying not to laugh as she rolled her eyes at him.
"She needs to go to bed," Heidi said. "Can you help me take her upstairs?"
"Sure," Kyle nodded. He looked at Patricia wobbling on her feet and opted for the simple expedient of just scooping her up in his arms and carrying her.
She let loose a 'Wooo' when he scooped her up, but then leaned her head on his shoulder as he carried her over to the stairs.
"You okay carrying her like that?" Heidi asked, seeming no worse for wear after an evenings drinking.
"I'm fine," Kyle nodded. "Go on."
He followed her up the wide wooden staircase, past a grinning Kara and then into his suite, where he took her straight into her room and sat her on her bed.
Heidi bent down to take her shoes off, and Kyle stood back, laughing as Patricia kept moving her legs out of Heidi's reach.
"Maybe I should stay in here tonight, keep an eye on her," The redhead suggested.
"It's fine," Kyle said. "I'll keep an eye on her. Be nice to look after her for a change."
"I'm gonna put her to bed then," Heidi said.
"I assume you don't want a hand getting her out her dress," Kyle said, moving to the door.
"No, probably not, no," Heidi grinned. "But thanks anyway."
"I'll be out on the balcony," Kyle told her.
"Kyle!" Patricia blurted, her eyes struggling to focus on him. Her hand patted the bed beside her. "You shleep here, right." Her words were all slurred but Heidi began to laugh quietly.
"Patricia," Kyle said, stepping forward and peering at her. "You go to sleep."
She thumped the bed again. "Here."
Kyle looked at Heidi, who was trying not to laugh and he winked at her. "Patricia. You go to sleep and I'll sneak in and wake you up, okay? It'll be our little secret. How's that sound?"
She grinned and gave him a thumbs up. "Shecret."
"Yeah."
"Coool," She said, then rolled onto her side as if to go straight to sleep.
"Fucking hell," Kyle muttered, looking at Heidi. "She's totally hammered."
"Yes, she certainly is," Heidi grinned. "And what was that about?"
Kyle shrugged. "Maybe she just wants someone to cuddle into."
Heidi chuckled. "And if you really thought that you'd be a lot dumber than I think you are."
"Much as the idea of Patricia and me hooking up is appealing, it'll never happen like this," He told her. "I'm not that guy. Never have been."
Heidi looked at him. "I know. If I had any doubts I'd be sleeping in here with her. Besides, I don't think it's you we'll have the trouble with tonight, is it?"
Kyle smiled. "Good point. Right, can I leave you to it? You'll get her into bed?"
Heidi nodded. "I'll be out in a few minutes."
Kara had gone by the time he went back outside, so he nipped back in and got his phone then sat back on the balcony and checked his emails.
"Holy fuck." He whispered, seeing he had three hundred and ninety one new emails in his personal account. People he hadn't heard from in years, guys and girls he went to school or college with and lots of people he didn't know at all had emailed his personal account. He scanned down, seeking emails from his folks, Casey or Ed, and discovered one from Ed.
Richie McRichfuck!
That Caroline chick keeps sexting me and sending hot fucking pics, but no face shots. If she's a fucking butterface I'll tell the press you're a scat-loving him-she hermaphrodite bitch and you fist yourself every morning at work.
Ed, clunge-magnet extraordinaire!
Kyle chuckled and closed the message, glad to see that Ed was still a dick, but the same dick he was before.
The rest of the emails were from more people he knew but didn't want to talk to, or people he didn't know at all, and Kyle couldn't be bothered wading through them all, so shut it down and folded the screen back.
"Hey, that's her in bed," Heidi said as he got up. "She's out for the count."
"Thanks for that," Kyle said, nodding. "I'm going for a shower and I'll check on her after that."
"She's gonna have a monster hangover in the morning," Heidi warned, unable to hide the slight grin on her face.
"I bet she will, but I'll go easy on her," Kyle promised.
"Anything you need, just let me know, okay?" She said and Kyle nodded, then headed inside and shut the doors.
He hung his trousers and waistcoat up, had a quick shower and when he got back in the bedroom, Patricia was curled up under his sheets. There was no sign of the black Football top she usually appeared in, and he wondered if she was naked under there.
"That's all I need. Me trying to get Patricia back into her own bed while she's butt naked and you can bet that's the point someone will walk in here," He muttered to no-one in particular.
"Patricia, wake up." He rubbed at her shoulder, shaking her until her eyes opened and she smiled at him. "You need to go back to bed."
She shook her head slowly, as if the alcohol had made it too heavy for her neck to support. "Nope. Protectorin' you." Then she stuck her tongue out.
Kyle chuckled, seeing how drunk she was. At least she was a fun drunk though, which was a serious bonus.
"What you protecting me from, Patricia? The boogeyman?" Kyle asked, trying hard not to laugh at her, but finding the way she eyed him pretty funny.
"No, shilly." She paused for a second and swallowed, then frowned. "Boogeygirl!"
"Boogeygirl?" Kyle chuckled, then stopped, realising what she meant. Even though she was hammered she had come through to make sure no-one slipped into his room in the middle of the night again.
"Patricia. Was that you in my room last night?" Kyle asked, figuring if she was drunk he might as well ask her.
"Nope." She frowned. "Told you ear-earlier, Kyle."
Kyle nodded and then Patricia grinned at him, and held her arms out to be hugged.
"Hug."
"Sleep," He said firmly.
She pouted and Kyle burst out laughing. It had been a while since he'd put a drunk person to bed and he'd almost forgotten how many of them behaved like a tired five year old who didn't want to go to bed.
"S'not funny. Kiss me," She ordered, lifting her arms up again. The sheet slipped down exposing one of her breasts and Kyle's eyes were drawn to it, seeing the tight pink nub atop the soft, inviting flesh.
He silently reminded himself that he was sober and she wasn't, and taking advantage of a drunk chick wasn't cool, particularly if you were friends, colleagues or whatever. He walked round the bed and sat down beside her, casually pulling the sheet up to cover her.
"You know you're drunk, right?"
She grinned at him and winked. "Lil bit."
"And only douchebags and criminals take advantage of drunk girls, right?"
She snorted and giggled. "Lotsa people."
"Not me though," Kyle said gently. "Not tonight, Patricia. Not while you're drunk. If you still want to get together tomorrow, then that's fine. But not tonight, okay?"
"Huh?" She gave him a confused look, which came out halfway between a sneer and a pout.
Kyle shook his head, trying to remain serious. "Me and you. You're drunk, so we're not going to do anything while you're drunk. If you still want to tomorrow, then we'll talk about it then, but right now we both need to sleep, okay?"
Kyle smiled as Patricia looked disappointed. He found it really cute.
"Sleep?"
"Yeah. Sleep," He nodded.
Patricia squinted at him. "No... coitus?"
Kyle burst out laughing. He was a big fan of the Big Bang Theory, but he really didn't expect Patricia to spring the word 'coitus' into the conversation, let alone actually say it when she was hammered.
"S'not funny."
"You can sleep here if you want, but no funny business, okay?" Kyle figured if she was as wasted as she was it might be just as easy to let her sleep in his bed, so if she started vomiting he'd be able to get her into the bathroom. He was also pretty convinced that if he put her in her own bed, she'd just come back through again.
She blew a raspberry at him.
"Okay then." Kyle said, smiling as he got to his feet. Figuring he better not sleep naked too, he went into the dressing room, pulled out a pair of track pants and a vest top and put them on, then returned to the bedroom.
Patricia scrunched her face up into something approximating a frown seeing him wearing clothes, but didn't say anything.
He walked round the bed, set an alarm on his phone and slipped under the sheet, smiling as Patricia rolled over and nudged at him until he put his arm around her. She snuggled into him, her head resting on his chest and Kyle pulled the sheet up to cover them both.
"Shex?" Patricia murmured.
"Go to sleep, Patricia."
Her hand slid down towards his waistband and he rolled his eyes as he pulled it back up and held it against his chest.
"You're no fun," She muttered.
"Goodnight, Patricia."
He turned his alarm off quickly and flicked on the bedside light. Patricia had rolled over at some point in the night and was sprawled across the bed, the sheet twisted down around her hips.
He looked at her lying there for a second, then reminded himself he wasn't a fucking creep and got out of bed. A quick wash in the bathroom woke him up and he entered the dressing room quietly, removing his top, stained with saliva where Patricia had drooled on it as she slept. He slipped another one on, then gathered up his phone, pulled the sheet up over her and headed for the gym.
Moving carefully, they wrapped his body in the white cloth that draped the table, and then lifted his body on their shoulders to the head of the ramp, and as everyone gathered around, they laid him to rest on the flowers, then began to gently place stones and more flowers over the corpse until he was completely covered.
Edwin thanked them for coming and bade them return to the main house for refreshments, then added that he would invite them to do as Kyle suggested and share their memories, good and bad, of the man Danny Tripps had been.
The staff were the first to drift away, with nearly all of them working, and many of the guests followed. Katie and Kara got up, but Kyle remained in his seat, wanting to stay and witness the burial, but his sisters reminded him they had lots of guests and that he couldn't stay there all day.
On the walk back up to the house Kyle got many compliments on his speech, of the courage it took to get up there, and of how it reminded them of Danny Tripps himself in the way it was delivered. The last part came as a surprise to Kyle.
The next half hour of mingling back at the house was a repeat of the same conversation. Really great speech, emotional, reminded me of him, but it passed quickly and it was time to walk many of the guests back to the boat or the helicopters that were waiting to take them back to the world.
By the time they bade them farewell and got back to the house, Kyle was feeling pretty drained and excused himself for a few minutes. He got into his suite, hung up his jacket and sat quietly on the balcony for a minute having a cigarette.
Patricia appeared a few minutes later, looking for him.
"You okay?" He asked. He hadn't had a chance to talk to her since before the ceremony as they'd been moving from guest to guest, shaking hands, making small talk and then dealing with those who were leaving.
"You did good, Kyle," She said, leaning over the chair from behind him and giving him a hug and another peck on the cheek.
"Just clicked what I wanted to say this morning. The core of it's what you wrote though."
She swatted his head. "You changed everything, so don't go trying to credit me for your own work."
Kyle chuckled. "So who's still here?"
"Not many people actually," She said, frowning. "Sting and Neil Finn are still here. They're already talking about doing a few tunes later. Johnny Depp is staying overnight, as are Charlize Theron and Christy Turlington, but everyone else has left or will be in the next couple of hours. There's a ton of phone calls to return too."
"I never got the chance to talk to Mike Myers. I was going to ask him for tips on being cool too," He said, getting a laugh from Patricia.
"You're doing fine, Kyle."
"Who's the phone calls from?"
"Oh, there's a list. Lots of friends and acquaintances of Mister Tripps, the usual politicians taking the opportunity to secure campaign donations, media fishing for interviews, stuff like that. Lakshmi's culling the list of calls you can return in the next couple of days."
"Do you guys ever stop working?" Kyle asked.
Patricia rolled her eyes. "Are we going to have that conversation again already?"
"No, I guess not," He replied, stubbing out his cigarette. He stood up and turned to face her. "How do I look then?"
"Tall, dark, handsome." She smirked a little and tilted her head. "You should get Katie to photograph you today. You look good."
He frowned. "Don't know if I like the idea of being photographed. Even if it's Katie doing it."
"Get a few drinks in you. You'll be fine."
"I thought I wasn't supposed to be drinking, what with all the training."
Patricia shrugged. "It's a special occasion."
Kyle nodded towards the stairs, indicating that they should return to the party but she stopped him and wiped at the lipstick on his cheek. The close proximity of her as she stood before him, her head tilted up and her lips parted, her hand on his face. It was one of those moments where things happen or they don't, but before Kyle could kiss her she stepped back.
"Yeah, that was a moment," Kyle muttered, getting a grin from Patricia as she led him back down to the party.
By midnight, Kyle was yawning and apologising for it. It had been a fantastic evening.
Neil Finn and Sting played together with their musicians for nearly two hours, putting on an impromptu concert that Kyle felt priviliged to hear. Katie had pressed Johnny Depp to teach her the Captain Jack swagger, and had fallen over twice attempting it, but Kara nailed it first time. Connor Grant had drunk Mister Crowler under the table, then disappeared with Christy Turlington a couple of hours ago and hadn't come back. Katie had been bobbing around with her camera for hours, and was desperate to leave to get the shots on the computer and edit them, but there was always something else to photograph.
Kyle had enjoyed long conversations with everyone, not just stories of Danny Tripps, but lots of general conversation too. He'd had a long chat with Lakshmi and Peter, getting to know them a little. Lakshmi was slow in opening up, but had a very sharp sense of humour, and Peter was the typical geek, right down to the glasses, with the exception that he looked like a male model, something which he seemed blissfully unaware of. He also told Kyle about the gaming network they had on the Island and challenged him to a game of Call of Duty tomorrow night. Lakshmi assured Kyle, who considered himself to be pretty good that he'd get thrashed and that Peter was a freak when it came to gaming.
In a conversation with Charlize Theron about LA, she'd put her hand on Kyle's leg and told him she'd be happy to show him the sights when he came to town. He didn't know if she was just being friendly or if he was being propositioned, but when Patricia nearly choked on her drink he figured it out.
Kara was a concern though. She'd remained a little withdrawn throughout the whole evening. Kyle and Katie had both tried to draw her into engaging a little more with people, but failed, until Johnny Depp slumped down on a seat next to her and talked to her for three hours straight about anything and everything.
Seeing everyone had relaxed, Kyle had ordered up a round of cocktails for Patricia, Heidi, Garius, Peter and Lakshmi, and they'd all sat themself down at a table. He'd kept an eye on them as the evening had gone on and kept sending drinks over for them, making sure they had a good time as they deserved a night off.
However, as midnight came and went, the guests started to drift off to bed. Eventually Kyle saw his opportunity and bid them all a goodnight too and headed upstairs, dropping into his seat on the balcony for a smoke.
He smiled as Kara appeared.
"I thought I was never gonna get rid of him," She said wearily as she sat down and reached for his cigarettes.
"Captain Jack?" Kyle asked, surprised.
"Yeah." She lit up.
"You mean to say you were trying to escape from the guy who's a figure of fantasy to millions of women around the world?" He grinned. "How fucking mad is this?"
Kara smiled. "I know. Who knew sexy actors could be boring? How awesome was the music tonight?"
"I wish I'd recorded it," Kyle said immediately. Between Sting, Neil Finn and their musicians, they had done impromptu covers of everything from Frank Sinatra to Nirvana, their own music, and Sting's version of Rihanna's S&M blended seamlessly into Roxanne was something he would never forget, mostly because the singer could barely stop laughing while he sung it.
"Hey, have you see Katie's pictures?" Kara asked quickly, kicking her black heels off and putting her feet up on the table.
Kyle shook his head. "I haven't, but she's barely had that camera out of her hands for six hours now. Any good?"
"She showed me a few on the back of her camera. That girls talented. I bet she's up all night editing them."
Kyle smiled. "Good to see someone with passion for what they do, isn't it?"
Kara nodded. "Definitely. She even took a picture of me that I liked. The ones of you are superb. So, what's the story with you and Patricia then?"
"What story?"
"This morning you were all angst and angry. Today she's hanging all over you again."
"We're just.... close." He shrugged. "I don't know."
"Have you two...." She winked with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, drawing a laugh from Kyle.
"No, haven't even kissed," He admitted.
"You bicker like an old married couple," She said a moment later. "It's kind of freaky to watch, considering you've only known her what? Three or four days?"
"Yeah, something like that. How are you getting along with Garius?"
"Well, he's a lot of fun, lots of sharp one-liners and he's helping me with the briefings, translating what it all means into words I can understand. He really does think he's Gods gift to men though." She smiled. "I still don't know if I can trust him, but I like him as a person."
"He seems like a nice guy," Kyle agreed.
He paused as he heard a whistle and Kara frowned, looking over the balcony. "I think someone's trying to get your attention, Kyle."
He stood up and looked down at the pool area, where Heidi was trying to stop a drunken Patricia from going for a swim.
"She's totally wasted," Kara muttered, shaking her head.
"Fucking hell," Kyle said, laughing as his assistant nearly fell over.
Heidi waved again for Kyle to come and give her a hand, and he nodded.
"Better go help her," He said, stubbing out his cigarette.
"Have fun."
Kyle nipped down the stairs then out to the pool where Heidi now had a hold of one of Patricia's arms and was trying to hold her back, telling her, "It's not a good idea to go swimming when you're drunk, and never when you're wearing Prada, Patricia."
"Hey, Patricia," Kyle said, stepping in front of her to divert her attention.
"Wooo!" She said, rolling her head as she tried to stand up straight. "There he is."
"You're hammered," He said, grinning.
She lifted one arm as if to salute him, but smacked herself in the head and staggered to the side. "Bosseses orders."
Her voice was slurred and Kyle looked at Heidi, trying not to laugh as she rolled her eyes at him.
"She needs to go to bed," Heidi said. "Can you help me take her upstairs?"
"Sure," Kyle nodded. He looked at Patricia wobbling on her feet and opted for the simple expedient of just scooping her up in his arms and carrying her.
She let loose a 'Wooo' when he scooped her up, but then leaned her head on his shoulder as he carried her over to the stairs.
"You okay carrying her like that?" Heidi asked, seeming no worse for wear after an evenings drinking.
"I'm fine," Kyle nodded. "Go on."
He followed her up the wide wooden staircase, past a grinning Kara and then into his suite, where he took her straight into her room and sat her on her bed.
Heidi bent down to take her shoes off, and Kyle stood back, laughing as Patricia kept moving her legs out of Heidi's reach.
"Maybe I should stay in here tonight, keep an eye on her," The redhead suggested.
"It's fine," Kyle said. "I'll keep an eye on her. Be nice to look after her for a change."
"I'm gonna put her to bed then," Heidi said.
"I assume you don't want a hand getting her out her dress," Kyle said, moving to the door.
"No, probably not, no," Heidi grinned. "But thanks anyway."
"I'll be out on the balcony," Kyle told her.
"Kyle!" Patricia blurted, her eyes struggling to focus on him. Her hand patted the bed beside her. "You shleep here, right." Her words were all slurred but Heidi began to laugh quietly.
"Patricia," Kyle said, stepping forward and peering at her. "You go to sleep."
She thumped the bed again. "Here."
Kyle looked at Heidi, who was trying not to laugh and he winked at her. "Patricia. You go to sleep and I'll sneak in and wake you up, okay? It'll be our little secret. How's that sound?"
She grinned and gave him a thumbs up. "Shecret."
"Yeah."
"Coool," She said, then rolled onto her side as if to go straight to sleep.
"Fucking hell," Kyle muttered, looking at Heidi. "She's totally hammered."
"Yes, she certainly is," Heidi grinned. "And what was that about?"
Kyle shrugged. "Maybe she just wants someone to cuddle into."
Heidi chuckled. "And if you really thought that you'd be a lot dumber than I think you are."
"Much as the idea of Patricia and me hooking up is appealing, it'll never happen like this," He told her. "I'm not that guy. Never have been."
Heidi looked at him. "I know. If I had any doubts I'd be sleeping in here with her. Besides, I don't think it's you we'll have the trouble with tonight, is it?"
Kyle smiled. "Good point. Right, can I leave you to it? You'll get her into bed?"
Heidi nodded. "I'll be out in a few minutes."
Kara had gone by the time he went back outside, so he nipped back in and got his phone then sat back on the balcony and checked his emails.
"Holy fuck." He whispered, seeing he had three hundred and ninety one new emails in his personal account. People he hadn't heard from in years, guys and girls he went to school or college with and lots of people he didn't know at all had emailed his personal account. He scanned down, seeking emails from his folks, Casey or Ed, and discovered one from Ed.
Richie McRichfuck!
That Caroline chick keeps sexting me and sending hot fucking pics, but no face shots. If she's a fucking butterface I'll tell the press you're a scat-loving him-she hermaphrodite bitch and you fist yourself every morning at work.
Ed, clunge-magnet extraordinaire!
Kyle chuckled and closed the message, glad to see that Ed was still a dick, but the same dick he was before.
The rest of the emails were from more people he knew but didn't want to talk to, or people he didn't know at all, and Kyle couldn't be bothered wading through them all, so shut it down and folded the screen back.
"Hey, that's her in bed," Heidi said as he got up. "She's out for the count."
"Thanks for that," Kyle said, nodding. "I'm going for a shower and I'll check on her after that."
"She's gonna have a monster hangover in the morning," Heidi warned, unable to hide the slight grin on her face.
"I bet she will, but I'll go easy on her," Kyle promised.
"Anything you need, just let me know, okay?" She said and Kyle nodded, then headed inside and shut the doors.
He hung his trousers and waistcoat up, had a quick shower and when he got back in the bedroom, Patricia was curled up under his sheets. There was no sign of the black Football top she usually appeared in, and he wondered if she was naked under there.
"That's all I need. Me trying to get Patricia back into her own bed while she's butt naked and you can bet that's the point someone will walk in here," He muttered to no-one in particular.
"Patricia, wake up." He rubbed at her shoulder, shaking her until her eyes opened and she smiled at him. "You need to go back to bed."
She shook her head slowly, as if the alcohol had made it too heavy for her neck to support. "Nope. Protectorin' you." Then she stuck her tongue out.
Kyle chuckled, seeing how drunk she was. At least she was a fun drunk though, which was a serious bonus.
"What you protecting me from, Patricia? The boogeyman?" Kyle asked, trying hard not to laugh at her, but finding the way she eyed him pretty funny.
"No, shilly." She paused for a second and swallowed, then frowned. "Boogeygirl!"
"Boogeygirl?" Kyle chuckled, then stopped, realising what she meant. Even though she was hammered she had come through to make sure no-one slipped into his room in the middle of the night again.
"Patricia. Was that you in my room last night?" Kyle asked, figuring if she was drunk he might as well ask her.
"Nope." She frowned. "Told you ear-earlier, Kyle."
Kyle nodded and then Patricia grinned at him, and held her arms out to be hugged.
"Hug."
"Sleep," He said firmly.
She pouted and Kyle burst out laughing. It had been a while since he'd put a drunk person to bed and he'd almost forgotten how many of them behaved like a tired five year old who didn't want to go to bed.
"S'not funny. Kiss me," She ordered, lifting her arms up again. The sheet slipped down exposing one of her breasts and Kyle's eyes were drawn to it, seeing the tight pink nub atop the soft, inviting flesh.
He silently reminded himself that he was sober and she wasn't, and taking advantage of a drunk chick wasn't cool, particularly if you were friends, colleagues or whatever. He walked round the bed and sat down beside her, casually pulling the sheet up to cover her.
"You know you're drunk, right?"
She grinned at him and winked. "Lil bit."
"And only douchebags and criminals take advantage of drunk girls, right?"
She snorted and giggled. "Lotsa people."
"Not me though," Kyle said gently. "Not tonight, Patricia. Not while you're drunk. If you still want to get together tomorrow, then that's fine. But not tonight, okay?"
"Huh?" She gave him a confused look, which came out halfway between a sneer and a pout.
Kyle shook his head, trying to remain serious. "Me and you. You're drunk, so we're not going to do anything while you're drunk. If you still want to tomorrow, then we'll talk about it then, but right now we both need to sleep, okay?"
Kyle smiled as Patricia looked disappointed. He found it really cute.
"Sleep?"
"Yeah. Sleep," He nodded.
Patricia squinted at him. "No... coitus?"
Kyle burst out laughing. He was a big fan of the Big Bang Theory, but he really didn't expect Patricia to spring the word 'coitus' into the conversation, let alone actually say it when she was hammered.
"S'not funny."
"You can sleep here if you want, but no funny business, okay?" Kyle figured if she was as wasted as she was it might be just as easy to let her sleep in his bed, so if she started vomiting he'd be able to get her into the bathroom. He was also pretty convinced that if he put her in her own bed, she'd just come back through again.
She blew a raspberry at him.
"Okay then." Kyle said, smiling as he got to his feet. Figuring he better not sleep naked too, he went into the dressing room, pulled out a pair of track pants and a vest top and put them on, then returned to the bedroom.
Patricia scrunched her face up into something approximating a frown seeing him wearing clothes, but didn't say anything.
He walked round the bed, set an alarm on his phone and slipped under the sheet, smiling as Patricia rolled over and nudged at him until he put his arm around her. She snuggled into him, her head resting on his chest and Kyle pulled the sheet up to cover them both.
"Shex?" Patricia murmured.
"Go to sleep, Patricia."
Her hand slid down towards his waistband and he rolled his eyes as he pulled it back up and held it against his chest.
"You're no fun," She muttered.
"Goodnight, Patricia."
He turned his alarm off quickly and flicked on the bedside light. Patricia had rolled over at some point in the night and was sprawled across the bed, the sheet twisted down around her hips.
He looked at her lying there for a second, then reminded himself he wasn't a fucking creep and got out of bed. A quick wash in the bathroom woke him up and he entered the dressing room quietly, removing his top, stained with saliva where Patricia had drooled on it as she slept. He slipped another one on, then gathered up his phone, pulled the sheet up over her and headed for the gym.